
Hey guys!
How is everyone? i am doing well. I cant sleep...i don't feel tired and feel like i have a lot of things on ma mind. I pretty much work all night shifts so even when i am not working i am up all night or half THE NITE and then nap sporadically here and there, day and night.... doesn't seem normal for me because i use to always go to bed super early a couple years ago. But right now in my life, it works for me, i like it better. Works better for training and less stress on my head! Jus sucks sometimes roaming around the house at odd hours of the night and then trying to sleep during the day when normal people are mowing their lawns and dogs are barking....sleep isn't really meant to be set up on my schedule!! haha If only we could all not work and be rich!!! I do play the lotto sometimes...hey, we all gotta dream! Mom always says if
you don't have a ticket you dont have a chance!! I am dieting and training....in hopes of getting on stage in Tampa. I say "in hopes" on purpose because i have recently adopted the idea of "no pressure." I get extremely frustrated and scared sometimes....this whole getting on a pro stage thing for me is scary. I WILL NOT get on stage if i don't feel i look good enough. Sure i could do it and wrap it up as practice or experience but i really won't be able to bring myself to do that.... but i may say somthing differnt in a few weeks. Dieting always brings out a range of emotions in me and i change my mind consistently. I have had a rough 2 years with yo yo dieting and wanting to compete, not wanting to compete, wanting to quit, and really wanting to
shine. I am going to continue to diet and train and hope for the best. I will commit at some point but right now i am too scared to do that. I dont really know what has gotten into me....the fire inside me burns extremely hot at times and other times it almost blows out! Its very hard on the head for me....i have to diet very hard to get my weight down and it is a struggle to stay motivated. its hard to feel SOO hungry most of the time yet lose weight and body fat so slowly. If i could be one of those people who diets with lots of food and limited cardio?!! HAAAA! that would be a dream. Really i hate those people!!! Damn them and their good metabolism!!! But anything worth having you have to work for. Nothing is handed to you and def not in bodybuilding. Every lb i ahve ever lost, i worked for. I want to work for it really, its just a matter of ALWAYS keeping my head on right. Right now i am weighing about 155lbs mid day. I am doing the keto diet with Dave Palumbo helping me. For those who dont know, it is ZERO carbs. ( and very limited fats for me as well) We'll see where it takes me. I won my pro card in 07 using carbs but not very many so i don't think it'll be too different.
It has been beautiful here the last 2 days. Like a summer dream! I love the warm weather. The dogs love it too, they go outside and roam around and they dont wana come in! and they stand in the middle of the road and cars have to stop and get out and yell at them LOL, theyre so bad. I know i should take them out on a leash but i jus have always let them out. They dont listen at all and run the opposite direction of me hahahaha.
Well, i should try to go to bed so i can get up tomorrow and not sleep in too late!
Good nite~
ALL MY LOVE,
CIN
"We learn well and fast when we experience the consequences of what we do—and don't do."