Thursday, May 03, 2012

heya, i know some of you are wondering what i am thinking about the show.....i know some of you were prob disappointed with how i looked, and i will tell you i am VERY dissapointed with how i looked. I knew going in, i was not where i needed to be, and i continued to battle pulling out right up until the day before. But i chose to do it as it felt like the better option than to not do it AGAIN. Over the last few years i've really struggled to get all the way there and this was no exception but i decided to go all the way despite being unhappy with how i looked. Why did i not look good?? well, there's a few factors in that equation and the biggest being i really kinda fell apart at the end. First of my prep went well, but as it got close things didn't go well, at all. Anyway, its just really disappointing, not because i placed last but bc i was not happy with how i looked and know i could have looked sooo much better. I don't think you or i will ever get to witness me looking better tho, as i really don't think i will try endure that again. Its not for everyone and for some people, like me, it throws me so off balance and unhappy and its not enjoyable. And now after the show, here i am much worse off then i was before, feeling bad, lost and just stuffing my sorrows with too much food! :( I know gaining all the weight back only makes me feel worse but this is what happens when i'm so so out of balance and unhappy! Neway, now i will keep tryin now to find my way back and try to restore my life and get happier. you can see more pics from show on my facebook page, xo thanks for all ur kind words and support through it all Cindy

Sunday, April 15, 2012

No one's journey but your own

hey guys,
I thought I'd pop in and write a lil post. Well, i really could probably write a number of different things, as depending on the day and moment my emotions and my feelings about everything to do with this prep have been ALL over the place!!! I really really have struggled HARD and only those closest to me know just how hard this has been for me, for a number of reasons!!!! I have QUIT several times and somehow managed to restart again!!! and here i am 12 days away!! Gotta do it as much and as many times as i've wanted to just give up something tells me to push on, see it thru, and finally get on a pro stage.

Losing muscle and trying to get lean too is prob the hardest thing i have ever tried to do. And really, until i started dropping muscle i never really realized just how much muscle i still HAD!!!! GEEZUS! I mean, i stopped heavy weight train almost 2 years ago!!! When i started this prep i was doing plyo workouts and light circuit workouts cpl times a week but as it got closer i had to STOP all that too and all I've done the last while is just all cardiooo!!!! I do a lil abs and lil butt work and stuff like that here and there but really have to stay away from the weight room for more than few minutes lol. Its HARD bc thats been my home for many years and where i sought alot of comfort at times.... but its what necessary to get down and i REALLY do enjoy and like the way i look smaller!!!

To give you an idea of muscle loss- I've lost over 4 inches off each leg!!! over 2 inches on my arms! and several inches all over...Right now i am sitting around 125lbs....I would like my condition to be bit better right now but that's always a struggle for me, plus doing the whole muscle loss thing i find its just 'differnt' looking and with doing physqique its very hard when u have a bit more muscle to get lean without looking too hard for physique. So, neway, I'd like to lose about 5 more lbs and then a lil water loss at the end. I would be really happy to get to like 110/115 for day of show, that'd be big improvement and accomplishment and i would really be happy with that! gotta be right?! i think i can do it! :-0

Altho i am alot smaller.....i dont know if i EVER will be able to look and do well in pro physique...because only the girls from figure and fitness crossing over have been able to make a successful switch. Thats because they like that figure look- They like long lean muscles... and altho i've shrunk alot, GENETICALLY, no matter what- i have full round muscle bellies. Nothing against the girls doing well, they look amazing!! I just don't know that MY muscles can ever be flat or long enough lol....hey, i am only 5 feet! Who knows, maybe im wrong!! hope so! Hopefully i fit in ok!!!?!

So the approach to this show is just so so different than anything i've done in the past...i'm doing alot things different and working on the transformation best that i can. Your body can only do so much, and u can only do so much to get where u want....I'm a perfectionist tho and not looking exactly how i want to right now is frustrating!! But i know MOST of us competitors feel like that, never feel ready or look how we want to!! Just trying to push on and do the best i can with what i've been dealt and do what i can to be the best physique Cindy i can! So anyways, ive been doing just all cardio and knocking out about 3 hrs a day!! Its brutal but just tryin to get down!! Its not that bad since thank god i'm not fitting in long weight workouts too!! and i was fortunate to have some time away from work too thank god.

So ya, thats a lil update!!! I will try write again before the show!!

all my love

~ Cindy

Sunday, March 04, 2012

8 weeks out!

hey guys,
Here is lil update!! I am still pushing along. Over the last few weeks i had a lil trouble and got in and outa a rut- alot if us go through this i think?! Ugh its just HARD and no one understands how hard it is unless they themselves have done it and struggled through it! Its hard being hungry ALL the damn time. It was fine at first and fun, but now every other day i'm thinkin like WHYYYY am i doing this?!!!

It really is hard DOWNSIZING! Logically you'd think it'd be as easy as eat less protein, dont lift heavy weights and you will lose muscle.....well i've def lost some but i'm still bigger than i'd like to be, but all i can do is just keep working at it! Its not easy!! My cardio has now doubled in attempt to get me down more and just plain sux to be doing a ton of cardio!!! I've had a crankie week and anything xtra that i have to do on top of my workouts and cardio feels like such a task!! People dont realize that i'm hungry and already worked out 2x today before they prob even got up. GRRR thats my rant lol

Here is couple pics of me from cpl days ago!! My shape is there and now its time to really lean up!! (thats just a practice suit fyi not my suit ill wear!)

Less than 8 weeks now- gon keep tryin to bring size down while getting leaner but not getting too lean! ahhh So complicated!!



Sunday, February 26, 2012

my thoughts on the first pro physique show

hey guys,
Everyone involved in the sport has an opinion on the new WP class and it was the first PRO show tht was held tonite- that kinda set the standard for pro physique. First let me say i think EVERY one of the girls looked amazing and i applaud them all for being the hot and fit ladies that they are! I have to say i am disappointed in the way they are judging it and find it very discouraging for MYSELF as someone who wants to do physique. I think the way they judged it is SO close to figure, and IMO TOO CLOSE! To me, it looks about 5-10% leaner and maybe just tad bigger than pro figure. BUT what i dont understand what the point of another division so close to figure is??!! The gap btwn pro figure and pro bb is SO HUGE, that i dont know why pro physique couln't be more in the MIDDLE of the 2 and not so close to figure. After watching the video and pics the girls in the second call out to me is what i would have liked to see be the first call outs and them be the top 4!!

Despite not lifting weights for about a year and a half, doing lots of cardio, lots of cirvuits and plyos, and eating small TINY lil meals- i dont think i will EVER be able to get my size down enough to 'fit' in well with pro physique!!! ONLY Maybe if i was in the hospital!!? LOL!!! That being said, i know that i still wana do it and still wana try to get DOWN in size and weight as much as i can and get in best shape that i can and just bring the best that i can. I DONT wana do bb nemore and i WANT to fit into the new category.....but i just dont know that i will??!!!

GOTTA keep pushing and try not to get discouraged!!



Saturday, February 11, 2012

11 weeks out!

Hey guys,
Few been asking for me to do a lil blog update like the old times so i thought i may as well!! Things have been going good with me.....just been working hard, training hard and trying to fit everything in that i need to. I am pretty happy with how things are coming along!! Its really a differnt journey for me as i am training and eating different with the hopes of a different but BETTER physique at the end of it all. I can say that i am in better shape at 11 weeks out than i think i ever was 11 weeks out with bodybuilding. I am leaner and am changing quiker at this point than i did in the past. But its a better leaner too, as my physique is smaller now and is really looking less 'bulky' to me than it had been. I kept getting worried that i was just going to still look too much like a bodybuilder but i am seeing the trasformation and i am quite happy with how its coming along. Will i be small as most the girls?! Prob most def not, but i dont want to get too small!!!!!!! i just want to keep going on the track that i am going and see where that takes me. I figure i will hopefully be around 115lbs. ??

Im still doing just 3 full body workouts a week for training- then i do my 2x cardio workouts as well (more on the days i dont train) 6 days per week. My cardio isn't a TON right now tho so thats nice :) i'm responding well so havent had to go to the cardio extreme! But hey, it may go there!!! :)

One big thing i am finding is that my waist i think is the smallest it has ever been, esp for having so much time left! :) its 26inches now!

I am almost all ready for the trip to ORLANDO! House rental is booked and flights are BOOKED!! yah!! I am so happy that some of my bestest friends and favourite people are ALL coming with me!! We're spending a week there :) i am so excited to go and be surrounded with people i love. All i have left to do really is put my official contract in for the show and book my tanning appts and etc for there.

AND, I am PRETTY sure that i am am going to go onto to do the TORONTO PRO SHOW after the Europa show- it is june 2nd, so about 5 weeks later. It is the only pro show in Canada and one of my best friends lives in Toronto and alot of people i know are going and some pros i know too are competing in this show, so i def think i want to and will do it!! :)

Well not too much else new, me and my sister had a fun day at the tattoo parlor!! i got a new tattoo today, that covered an old sun tattoo i had gotten when i was 15!!!! :O. And also got a new earring- its fun?! I got a paw bc it represents the animals in my life and the paw prints they leave on my heart. <3

I look forward all weeek to having a yummmieee cheat meal- this week i was in Cold Stone creamery heaven!!!! OH yaaaa, cake and ice cream inside a chocolate shell!

Oh ya, and for somthing to just keep me occupied i decided to try out a lil will prob never turn out nice enough for me to wear it but i'm gona work away at stoning it?!!!! i got a BEAUTIFUL suit from TMARIE suits that i will be wearing in orlando....but ya never know maybe this project will turn out and i may wear it in toronto?!! LOL doubted, i need it to be perfect!

Train hard, stay focused, and remember dreams come true for those who work hard!

Well hope u all have a nice week!
I will check bk in again soon,

Dont forget to "LIKE" my facebook page!! :)

~ Cindy~

Sunday, January 08, 2012

New journey

Hey there,
Here is a BIG UPDATE!!

Over the last few years i have been so on and off with everything to do with competing, working out, quitting the lifestyle all together...then starting it again and wondering why/what am i doing??!! I prepped for a couple shows, never making it all the way through and it left me with a lot of feelings of guilt and really, embarrassment for not following through with it all. I really have had a lot of self doubt the last couple years that i could even do it anymore- i felt like i lost it somewhere. It made me sad, but i thought 'oh i just need to move on already!"

So anyhoo, back in the summer of 2010 i had then decided that really didn't like the way i looked anymore and that i felt so much better about myself when i was smaller and leaned down- so i decided i needed to try to just get smaller! Because before, when i'd put on any weight i was just huge when adding any fat on top of all that muscle, so i knew i needed to try to trim down muscle too. A year and a half ago was the last time i lifted a heavy weight or ate 6oz of protein at once lol. Slowly, i adjusted the way i was working out- i added more cardio and lifted really light. I changed my eating and cut my protein in half or more. BUT despite these efforts, it was and is not as easy as people make it out to be! I've heard some say, 'just stop lifting heavy and eat less protein etc and u will get smaller- NOT SO at all with me!! I have lost some size for sure, but it is only more recently that i am seeing more significant results with the downsizing. Now, don't get me wrong, i didn't want nor do want now to get really small!! I just want to trim down 'some'.

So over the last while i have been just really enjoying being and feeling so healthy! I had been eating what i wanted- but in more moderation and just feeling unrestricted. Feeling so good, and kinda realizing i really didn't want to ever compete again in bodybuilding. BUT that passion, that fire inside me just could not just die, i could not stop wanting to what makes me feel so much passion and strength and most of all - stand on an IFBB pro stage!!!

I had decided to downsize before they had even announced a new division...and as soon as I heard the news of a new 'PHYSIQUE" division my mind got thinking!! "Physique was announced to be the newest addition to the women's classes- a division that is between bodybuilding and figure, sounds like exactly like what i envision for myself!! But i still didn't know if i wanted to try to get back into competing again. I just thought i wanted to move on to other things and forget about competing. So, i tucked that thought in the back on my mind and continued on, but i kept thinking about it, kept wondering about it, and just couldn't let it go as much as i thought i wanted to. And so i decided i HAVE to do it! Now is the time to follow a dream, to stand amongst the best physique people in he world on a professional stage! Not many people can say that, not many people have been so fortunate to get a PRO card, and i was so fortunate to have- and i would forever regret not presenting myself and competing as a PRO! IT is a blessing and i am so excited to compete as a pro, what an honour! I know there are many people who forever dream of becoming an IFBB PRO and never ever get there- and i know that its a gift and i should use it!

SO....I am planning on competing in my first pro show and in the new physique division at the 2012 IFBB EUROPA in ORLANDO FLORIDA- April 27/28. I am currently 16 weeks out! I am excited!! Now, I know some of you are thinking what am i doing- as you and I both know that my body is prob more apt to do bodybuilding- i have round, full muscle bellies and i have had a heck of a time trying to trim it down! BUT, i feel better smaller and like the way i look already so much better! I have managed to get my physique down some finally and I'm so excited to see my body continue to change and transform over the next 16 weeks. I know from what they've been picking in this division thus far, that they are leaning towards the smaller side with the girls- and it def leans wayyyy more towards a figure look than a bodybuilding one. But i am going to try not to let that deter me, as i will just do what i can and come in the best that i can. I mean i really don't wana get crazy small anyways, i just wana continue trimming down and get my physique to place that looks really healthy and pretty without looking too bodybuilder like. BUT listen, bodybuilding is MY ROOTS and i am not at all saying bodybuilding is no good! I LOVE bodybuilding and will forever, i just personally want my body to be a bit smaller. And really, most people who see me likely think i'm a bodybuilder!! And i am, i'm just tryin to be a lil smaller one :)

I will tell you this without a doubt- this is the HARDEST thing i have ever done already! I have NEVER worked so hard and busted my ass so much. In order to try to get smaller and leaner- i have been doing tons high intensity cardio (6 days per week) and my workouts consist of just 3 per week of full body circuits- even though i lift LIGHT- i friggin work so hard! I can tell you lifting heavy weights and doing slow cardio is SO EASY compared to doing plyometric workouts and super high intensity stuff all the time. Plus, i only eat 2oz of meat at a time when i eat now- i had been eating 3oz all year but now its down to 2! dont worry, that's not all i eat!! LOL. I eat lots of other carbs and fats, including fruits etc- and i eat a lot of times per day but super small amounts and lower protein than normal.

Currently i am right at 140lbs. I really don't know what i will compete at but to guess, i think I'd like to be around 115lbs. When i did bodybuilding, i would be prob 155 or so at 16 weeks out for comparison- and i competed at around 127.
That is my news! i will share in the exciting journey with you! I will do progress pics and video updates for the members area too.

Wish me luck ;)



Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Facebook Page

Hi Guys!

For those who do not use twitter and for those who have been asking for me to have facebook to keep up with you, i have created a NEW page. Please go and like me there! Cindy Phillips IFBB PRO.(see the link on my blog on the right). There are several other pages created NOT by me and several other people pretending to be me and i cant seem to eliminate them!!

I will post some old stuff on there but also put up new pics, training, updates etc.


love always,