Sunday, April 15, 2012

No one's journey but your own

hey guys,
I thought I'd pop in and write a lil post. Well, i really could probably write a number of different things, as depending on the day and moment my emotions and my feelings about everything to do with this prep have been ALL over the place!!! I really really have struggled HARD and only those closest to me know just how hard this has been for me, for a number of reasons!!!! I have QUIT several times and somehow managed to restart again!!! and here i am 12 days away!! Gotta do it as much and as many times as i've wanted to just give up something tells me to push on, see it thru, and finally get on a pro stage.

Losing muscle and trying to get lean too is prob the hardest thing i have ever tried to do. And really, until i started dropping muscle i never really realized just how much muscle i still HAD!!!! GEEZUS! I mean, i stopped heavy weight train almost 2 years ago!!! When i started this prep i was doing plyo workouts and light circuit workouts cpl times a week but as it got closer i had to STOP all that too and all I've done the last while is just all cardiooo!!!! I do a lil abs and lil butt work and stuff like that here and there but really have to stay away from the weight room for more than few minutes lol. Its HARD bc thats been my home for many years and where i sought alot of comfort at times.... but its what necessary to get down and i REALLY do enjoy and like the way i look smaller!!!

To give you an idea of muscle loss- I've lost over 4 inches off each leg!!! over 2 inches on my arms! and several inches all over...Right now i am sitting around 125lbs....I would like my condition to be bit better right now but that's always a struggle for me, plus doing the whole muscle loss thing i find its just 'differnt' looking and with doing physqique its very hard when u have a bit more muscle to get lean without looking too hard for physique. So, neway, I'd like to lose about 5 more lbs and then a lil water loss at the end. I would be really happy to get to like 110/115 for day of show, that'd be big improvement and accomplishment and i would really be happy with that! gotta be right?! i think i can do it! :-0

Altho i am alot smaller.....i dont know if i EVER will be able to look and do well in pro physique...because only the girls from figure and fitness crossing over have been able to make a successful switch. Thats because they like that figure look- They like long lean muscles... and altho i've shrunk alot, GENETICALLY, no matter what- i have full round muscle bellies. Nothing against the girls doing well, they look amazing!! I just don't know that MY muscles can ever be flat or long enough lol....hey, i am only 5 feet! Who knows, maybe im wrong!! hope so! Hopefully i fit in ok!!!?!

So the approach to this show is just so so different than anything i've done in the past...i'm doing alot things different and working on the transformation best that i can. Your body can only do so much, and u can only do so much to get where u want....I'm a perfectionist tho and not looking exactly how i want to right now is frustrating!! But i know MOST of us competitors feel like that, never feel ready or look how we want to!! Just trying to push on and do the best i can with what i've been dealt and do what i can to be the best physique Cindy i can! So anyways, ive been doing just all cardio and knocking out about 3 hrs a day!! Its brutal but just tryin to get down!! Its not that bad since thank god i'm not fitting in long weight workouts too!! and i was fortunate to have some time away from work too thank god.

So ya, thats a lil update!!! I will try write again before the show!!

all my love

~ Cindy